i haven't posted in awhile. lots of things have been happening...meeting lots of people, feeling confused, angry, sad, scared...terrified?
thought i would have a heart attack a little while ago. my heart has seemed to find it's natural rhythm now...all it took was a few deep breaths, some laughter. feeling love and forgiveness in my heart. deep affection. relief, because even though i know less than i did, i know more. i thought i knew what was happening, then all at once i panicked, probably from the shock of knowing it was truth--"knowing" not from proof or confirmation, simply from a feeling, a knowing in my heart and in my soul.
what if you could "see" the web in which we are all woven together? everything is connected, you know, like a beautiful, intricate matrix, delicate strings. fine mesh. the paper-thin membrane that holds our muscles, our innards--our bodies intact, appearing to be tenuous and fragile, but with immense, amazing tenacity. everyone go out and cast your circles. become aware of who you are...really. study your past because it is your future. the less you are aware of, the longer it will take you to figure it out the next time around. good thing you get to choose who you want to live as...choose your own adventure.
am i in danger? i don't know. i know danger when i feel it, so i suppose i'll have to stay alert. but i usually always am, even when it seems like i am not. i have studied well, and am on my way to mastering the state of think/no-think...of exploring sheath by sheath the full energy of my being.
it's beautiful. terribly so.
i used to think it horrible to be so sensitive. an empath. a healer. how could that be horrible? how can parents tell their children, "don't be sensitive?" it is better to be coarse? vulgar? callous? rough? i would rather be gentle, refined, soft, flowing, receptive. open. learn to control the opening and closing of the chakras...THAT will protect you.
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