equinox

i can feel the shift in the season even though the weather has not yet perceptibly shifted.  i suppose as the climate changes, California's seasons will become more and more rebellious.  i sense an earthquake coming, or that's the arrival of autumn i sense...

the day passed quickly; hopefully the night will give me ample time to dream richly. 

the days will grow short, darkness will fall sooner and i will be forced to prepare my psyche for a turning-inward.  i always became extremely depressed during my birthday month in the past.  now that i am more stable, i wonder how October will pan out?

a concert, a camping trip.  new love?  true love?

seems i can't stay single for very long these days.  i need to "take things slow," whatever that might mean.  code for "no sex?"  or maybe "don't make any major purchases together for the first 5 months?"  i'm getting quite good at moving with the flow of life, giving up resistance sooner and learning my lessons more quickly and the first few times around.  i'd say that's growth! 

poised.  balanced.  perched on the edge of a knife.  maybe not: maybe the bottom of a slope or the top of a track.  either way, i am going to move, shift, transform and change.  i try not to be afraid.  or if i am, i admit it and move on.  of course i'm afraid.  the economy is lifeless and i have 3 part-time jobs.  i am an art-maker with few connections (as of yet).  shall i go back to school now?  where would i go?  stay?

in autumn, the harvest is celebrated.  candles are lit to remind us of the summer that burned hot not so long ago.  music, mead and dancing...not yet worrying about the barren winter to come.  not quite the case in SoCal, but i will celebrate my birth.  how many more to go?  winter and death are too far off yet.

uncork me a sweet merlot and paint my lips with honey and chocolate; dust my skin with cinnamon and cloves!  the loamy and yielding life--the Fall from the bright sunlit wildfire-days into the soft, damp, cool, dark earth.