i weighed myself today for the first time in a long time.
mind you, weighing myself on a scale is a very dangerous activity. it almost immediately triggers eating disordered thought patterns and behavior. i was triggered way before i stepped onto that cold, digitally merciless metal square from Hell, however.
i went to Golden Gate Park to help my corporate yoga client, lucy Activewear, shoot photos for their website. lucy makes clothing and accessories for yoga, running and cross training. i was there as a consultant, to make sure the models were doing actual yoga poses, not just jutting their hips out and pointing long skinny limbs in all different directions.
these models weren't waifs, but only one really looked like she was athletic. one of them actually admitted that she doesn't work out. (it was actually really entertaining watching them try to do pushups). i'm disappointed that even activewear companies don't use "real" women to model their products. but i didn't really expect anything different.
i don't have a classic "yoga body." i'm not a dancer, i'm not super-lean. even after 30 days or veganism, i still have meat on my bones. i often feel like a yoga fraud because i'm not wiry and slender and able to bend into crazy poses. it's tough for me to not compare myself to yoga "celebrities" and to want to have the yoga "look" that's advertised in the media. i think classic "yoga-bodied" people do not comprise a wide percentage of the American population, but that is what is shown in magazines, on DVDs and in the movies.
i have to constantly remind myself why i practice and teach yoga. the students i teach are not super-lean super athletes either. they are stressed, overweight, underweight, injured, weak in places, stiff in others. they are seeking a better quality of life. they want to remove suffering and the only way to do that it to practice non attachment and compassion. if a tight yoga butt is one of the byproducts of such a practice, great. but for that to be the goal is not definitive of the heart of yoga.
i'm 5'7" and i weigh 160 pounds. 160! i can't believe it. it seems like a grotesque number. it is the amount i weighed my senior year of high school, the year i fell into a deep depression and began my almost-lethal dance with my eating disorder. is this full circle? is the universe testing me? will i choose the same path i did 12 years ago, or will I use what i've learned to break through self-destructive patterns and free myself from 12 more years of suffering?
i suppose only time will tell.
mind you, weighing myself on a scale is a very dangerous activity. it almost immediately triggers eating disordered thought patterns and behavior. i was triggered way before i stepped onto that cold, digitally merciless metal square from Hell, however.
i went to Golden Gate Park to help my corporate yoga client, lucy Activewear, shoot photos for their website. lucy makes clothing and accessories for yoga, running and cross training. i was there as a consultant, to make sure the models were doing actual yoga poses, not just jutting their hips out and pointing long skinny limbs in all different directions.
these models weren't waifs, but only one really looked like she was athletic. one of them actually admitted that she doesn't work out. (it was actually really entertaining watching them try to do pushups). i'm disappointed that even activewear companies don't use "real" women to model their products. but i didn't really expect anything different.
i don't have a classic "yoga body." i'm not a dancer, i'm not super-lean. even after 30 days or veganism, i still have meat on my bones. i often feel like a yoga fraud because i'm not wiry and slender and able to bend into crazy poses. it's tough for me to not compare myself to yoga "celebrities" and to want to have the yoga "look" that's advertised in the media. i think classic "yoga-bodied" people do not comprise a wide percentage of the American population, but that is what is shown in magazines, on DVDs and in the movies.
i have to constantly remind myself why i practice and teach yoga. the students i teach are not super-lean super athletes either. they are stressed, overweight, underweight, injured, weak in places, stiff in others. they are seeking a better quality of life. they want to remove suffering and the only way to do that it to practice non attachment and compassion. if a tight yoga butt is one of the byproducts of such a practice, great. but for that to be the goal is not definitive of the heart of yoga.
i'm 5'7" and i weigh 160 pounds. 160! i can't believe it. it seems like a grotesque number. it is the amount i weighed my senior year of high school, the year i fell into a deep depression and began my almost-lethal dance with my eating disorder. is this full circle? is the universe testing me? will i choose the same path i did 12 years ago, or will I use what i've learned to break through self-destructive patterns and free myself from 12 more years of suffering?
i suppose only time will tell.
