sexual politics

i left my baggage on the hilltop today.

in the crackling Santa Ana winds, i shouted, "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"  "I DID NOTHING WRONG!"  and "I AM STRONG!"

i'm pretty sure i scared the shit out of the red-tails i saw on my trek up.

if THAT didn't do it, then my rock-throwing performance piece did.  it feels SO GOOD to chuck rocks at the pavement.  the resistance, the sound, the tiny flakes of stone spinning every direction.  i even made the Stefi Graff (or was it Monica Seles?) grunt as i let loose.

ahh, sweet relief.

like the Tower card in my Tarot deck, i feel like i've been leveled.  ground zero.  everything i've ever believed, everything i've thought i've known has just been obliterated.  in the best way possible.

i feel a renewed strength to carry on in my fight for my life, for well-being and for inner peace.  i also feel a re-kindled desire to go out into the community and fight for women and girls who have experienced that which i have also experienced: rape, abuse, humiliation, eating disorders, substance abuse.  i want to talk.  i want to write.  IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.  so why do we still have to suffer?  what's the problem here?

when a lover whispers in your ear, "Thanks for the fuck," that's a problem.  when a guy hits his girlfriend during an argument, THAT is a problem.  when a man looks at a woman wearing a flattering dress and high heels and says, "I like when you dress like a slut," THAT is a problem.  when a manager corners his underage employee in a walk-in freezer at a juice bar and begins kissing her neck, THAT is a motherfucking problem.  when a guy gets his girlfriend pregnant and then dumps her after the abortion, THAT is a problem.  When a woman is raped as she leaves a bar, THAT is a problem.

why are things like these happening? 
we need to figure this out.

all of the above incidents have happened either to me or to close friends of mine.  my response to these atrocities: reclaim your power, girls.  and i'm not just talking dress sexy, work your way to the top of the corrupt corporate ladder, and take shots with the big boys.  screw the big boys.  i am sick of being silent.  i'm tired of this being okay.  this is not the Victorian Era.  this is 2009.  time to evolve, people.

yoga classes, body appreciation workshops, anger management classes, art therapy: these all need to be free.  they need to be available to ALL people, regardless of socioeconomic status.  i'm not saying yoga is going to save the world, but it might.  any philosophy that encourages the practice of non-violence (ahimsa) is worth a shot in my book.  the problem is, the people who need it most don't see its benefits.  it's a shame. 

boycott fashion magazines; they're 80% ads, anyway...save your money.

refuse to see movies that are sexist, racist, unnecessarily violent.

talk with your sons, your daughters, your nieces, your nephews, and your cousins about sexuality.  it's so harmful to assume that the schools will teach them everything they need to know, or that it's not important to share your own experiences with them.  it is silence that is harmful.

thanks for letting me rant.  i have been triggered.  i'll cool down soon.  but i think i've found a reason why i died and came back.