karma wheel

once again, numbing out looks good. 

a relapse--just one binge/purge, a binge the next day.  i hated it, every minute of it.  it doesn't soothe me anymore, but cigarettes and alcohol weren't cutting it...nor yoga, nor meditation.  in times of high stress, it might be like this for awhile.

i open up to people.  too quickly?  maybe.
i have a thin skin, transparent like an onion.

i wear my heart on my sleeve.  you want a piece?  take a bite.  you can either swallow it and let it nourish you, or you can spit it out on the floor...either way, it's available to you.

i'm not an artist because i choose to be...i'm an artist because i can't do anything else.  i can only handle life in symbols--color and shapes--or i will go mad.  maybe i already am.

i MUST have been for thinking dating someone with severe bipolar disorder was a good idea.  lesson learned:  pay attention to red flags.

life is suffering.  i forget that pain is proof of life.  it hurts to remember.

but the karma wheel spins, and now i am on the rising side of the spokes.